Horny Convention
by VioletWingedPerfection
Summary: Everybody stars doing every body else in this crazy Naruto fanfiction gone wrong!
1. Chapter 1

This is my first Naruto fan fiction! I really really hope you like it! It's a little odd, and everyone's kind of OOC in it, but I wrote it to be funny and romantic, even though most of the couples in it would never happen. So I hope you all laugh really hard! Tell me what you think when you review!

This fan fiction is dedicated to my bestest friend Mary! Her favorite character is Gaara, but she loves everyone in Naruto. Except for Ino the bitch, but no one likes her! (Apologizes to people who like Ino the bitch)

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto :( Boo and bullfrogs.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Chapter 1 

"**Not Your Average Teachers Meeting"**

Looking back on that week, even years later, not one of them was ever sure what had caused them to act so strangely. Perhaps because it was early spring and emotions were running high. Nevertheless, everyone agreed that they would probably never know what had come over them that one crazy week.

It had started off innocently enough, just another Monday morning. All of them tired from getting up early once again, and perhaps their own personal problems. Sakura had spent her weekend brooding over Sasuke, as usual, and she was in a bad mood.

_God, if only I could get closer to him! _Sakura thought, walking to the Ninja Academy and passing him on the way there. She gave him her usual adoring gaze, and he passed by without a glance, just as she expected.

Where in the same cell and he acts like we've never met! Why is he so hard to figure out? Doesn't her know by now how much I love him?

Sakura was so deep in thought that she almost missed the huge crowd standing out side the school.

"What's going on?" Sakura came up behind Neiji and tried to peer over his head, "Why is this crowd here?"

Neiji, wide eyed, turned and whispered to her, "It's Gai, Kakashi, and Iruka-sensei. Gai-sensei is making quite a scene!"

Edging closer, Sakura saw that Neiji was right; in fact she had never seen anything quite like it before.

Gai-sensei knelt on the ground, tears splashing down the front of his clothes. Both Kakashi and Iruka-sensei were trying to talk quietly to him, perhaps to clam him down, but it did not seem to work. Suddenly Gai jumped up, his chin quivering.

"I do not care to here your pathetic excuses! Tell me straight out Iruka, as you've told me many times before, are you in love with me or are you in love with Kakashi!"

Silence followed this, and the student looked on in shock.

A love triangle, with Kakashi-sensei, Iruka-sense, and Gai-sensei? I must be imagining things! There is no way the teachers would let this happen! Sakura thought.

But then a young blond steeped through the crowd. Sakura craned her neck and say that it was Naruto.

"Iruka-sensei," He began hesitantly, "Is this true?" He looked from Kakashi to Iruka and then to Guy.

"Uhhhh" Iruka had the unmistakable look of a man trapped, the same sort of look you would see on a man about to be married, "Well…"

Gai interrupted, "Don't bother, I'm leaving, and I never want to see you again!" Then he looked at around at the crowd that had gathered, "DON'T LOOK AT ME, DON'T LOOK AT ME!" He screamed. And put his hands up to his face, and ran out of the circle, leaving Kakashi and Iruka to deal with the curious stares.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000

This whole story wont be told by Sakura's point of view, but some of it will, so don't worry. Hope you liked this enough to read my next chapter!


	2. Chap 2

This chapter is considerably longer then the other one, but I think it's funnier, so I hope it's good. 

Dislaimer: I don't own Naruto

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Chapter 2

"If that's your one hand is then where's the other one?"

For the rest of the day the students whispered among themselves about Gai-sensei's mysterious actions, and no matter how much everyone prodded Iruka and Kakashi, they refused to talk about it.

Sakura was puzzeling over this on her way home that afternoon.

_I wonder if this is true? _She thought,_ Or is Gai-Sensei just having a mid-life crisis or something?_

Suddenly she heard someone calling her name, "Sakura?" It said in a deep, rumbly voice.

Sakura felt her heart flop like a piece of wet bologna in the wind. It sounded like Sasuke was behind her!

_Okay, be cool._ She told herself, and spun around.

It was just Naruto deepening his voice

"Oh," She said dully, "What in the name of my spandex shorts do you want?"

"Uhh, well…" Naruto's eyes were darting around and he looked as nervous as a turkey on Thanksgiving, "Can I talk to you for a second Sakura? Please?"

Something in his voice made her agree, though normally she would no sooner sit next to Naruto then make out with Ino, and they both sat down on a nearby bench.

Naruto seemed calmer now, and started talking right away.

"I know youwere at that display this morning. And I know that everyone thinks that what Gai-sensei did was weird,but he actually gave me courage, because he isn't afraid to make a scene over the woman, er, _man _that he loves. So that's what I'm going to do!"

And with that Naruto stood up and started screaming at the top of his lungs; "I LOVE SAKURA, I LOVE SAKURA!"

Everyone within four blocks of him stopped on their tracks and looked in Naruto's direction, and a couple of people even come over to get a closer look.

Sakura was so embarressed. She hid her face behind a large leaf that she found on the ground. "Naruto!" She whispered from behind her leaf, "Please do not express yourself so loudly!"

Naruto sat dopwn, but threw away Sajura's leaf and oput his hands on her shoulders, leaned forwars and said urgently, "But do you know what else Gai-sensei taught me? That it' okay to let go of love."

Sakura could hardly dare to believe it. "Really Naruto?" She cried, "Why you letting me go as unthinkable as Dr. Phil teaming up with Jerry Springer!"

"Well, I'm not really giving up on you, more like excepting that you'll never be mine."

"Fantastic!" Sakura stood up, "So I guess I'll see ya later alligator!" She started walking away.

"Actually, Sakura." Naruto said from behind her, "I was wondering something."

"Yes?"

"Well…" He got that nervous turkey look again, "Because I now understand that you'll never be mine, can I just have one kiss, you know, like a parting gift?"

Sakura was going to refuse at first, but she then thought, "What they hey? At least I've gotten rid of him finally." So she went back over and sat on the bench.

Naruto leaned close to her, and gazed into her face.

"You have beautiful eyes," He whispered, "They're the color of a fireflies butt."

"Naruto!" Skaura said angrily, "Stop stalling and hurry up!"

Actually, Sakura had been thinking about Naruto's eyes as well. She had never been that close to them, and they sparkled with the same cheerfulness of Naruto himself.

"Here goes." He said, and he leaned in and softly pressed his lips to Sakura's.

Sakura had expected to feel grossed out, like she would sell her soul to just NOT be kissing Naruto, but to her shock she found herself LIKEING it! His lips moved against hers, and their bodies fit together like a shock and a shoe. She even forgot about how much she was in love with Sasuke. For a while all that mattered was their lips, his breathing on her neck, and her hands against his unruly blond hair.

Sakura was not sure how long she and Naruto sat there when suddenly, without reason, they broke apart flushed and panting. Sakura was re-adjusting her hair, and wondering if she really just made out with Naruto, when she noticed he was looking over her shoulder at something. Sakura spun around ans came face to face with a pale, wide eyed Hinata.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

So, did you like my cliff hanger? Let me know!


	3. Chapter 3

I ended the other chapter on a cliffhanger, so I tried to make this one good. Enjoy and tell me what you think!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Chapter 3 

"I'm sad, you're hot, let's make out!"

Hinata stood there for a second, gasping for air, then she turned and fled, tears running down her face silently.

_I can believe what I've just seen! _She thought, _Sakura and Naruto, Sakura and Naruto…_

It repeated itself in an ugly chant until her head pounded.

A horrified Sakura watched Hinata disappear.

_Oh my God! _She thought, _I can't believe that I was making out with Naruto, as if that wasn't bad enough! But Hinata caught us! Hinata! The girl who is in love with Naruto! Even if he's too stupid to notice…_

Miserably, Sakura turned her head just in time to see Naruto's lips come at her again.

"Ewww!" She sprang up. "Naruto I said ONE kiss!"

Naruto looked up, a wounded expression on his face. "But you sounded like you were enjoying it!"

"NO I DIDN'T!" A horrified Sakura exclaimed.

"Yes, you did! We sounded just like this!" Naruto turned his back to Sakura, put his hands on his arms, moved them up and down and made air kissing noises.

"STOP THAT NARUTO!" Sakura screamed, as she grabbed at Shikamaru, who was lingering nearby, and threw him at Naruto.

"Oh…Shikamaru!" Naruto batted his eyelashes at him, "I didn't know you cared!"

Shikamaru cracked Naruto over the head with a rock, and stood up, dusted himself off, muttered "How troublesome," and continued on his way, sending death gestures back over his shoulder every few feet.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, a distraught Hinata was sobbing her eyes out next to a single isolated porta potty.

I can't believe it was Sakura out of all the people who would betray me like that! She knows how much I care for Naruto! Everyone does! Well, except for the one person who matters… This day can't get any worse…

Just then, Kiba burst out of the porta potty next to her, shrieking at the top of his lungs and scaring Hinata badly.

"Jesus Christ!" She shouted loudly, jumping.

Kiba spread his arms wide and sang, "SUPERSTAR" so loudly that the trees shook.

Hinata just stared at him.

Kiba laughed and plopped down next to her.

"You said 'Jesus Christ'" HE explained, "Never use the Lord's name in vain, so I finished I for you! 'Jesus Christ Superstar!'"

Silence

"It's a musical!" He protested.

"Ok…." Hinata said slowly, "But that still doesn't explain why you came screaming out of there and nearly killed me in the process!"

"Oh…" said Kiba nervously, "I, um, well I always run screaming out of the bathroom after a huge dump."

More silence

"But why were you crying though?" Kiba asked, peering deep into Hinata's eyes, "Your purple orbs harbor so much sadness."

Hinata put her hands up to her face, and leaned up against Kiba's shoulder, sobbing hard.

"Oh, Kiba." She choked out, "I caught Naruto and Sakura kissing on a bench!"

"Whoa! No way! Naruto kissing with an actual GIRL! And one of the hottest around, Sakura! Way to go Naruto!" Kiba pumped his arm in the air, then he looked down at Hinata's face, she was glaring at him.

"I mean… that was wrong, very wrong, you deserve him, not Sakura." He put his arms around her as she sobbed into his chest.

"I just don't know what to do Kiba!" Hinata said, finally wiping her eyes and sitting up, "Naruto was my life!"

"Well, actually, you shouldn't worry, because I have something to confess to you. I love you Hinata." Kiba swallowed nervously.

Hinata looked at him her lovely lilac eyes puzzled, "Since when Kiba?"

"Umm, I guess since now, when I out my arms around you. What do you say Hinata?"

"Whatever." She shrugged, "You're kinda cute Kiba, especially your dog. Speaking of…" She looked around, "Where is Okamaru?"

Kiba looked around too, "I don't know, probably at the bar. But does it matter? I love you Hinata!"

"Oh, Kiba!"

The started making out, right there next to the porta potty, It wasn't Naruto, Hinata had to admit to herself, but Kiba was very nice, and he liked her.

Some noses coming form the bushes next to them interrupted there "session"

'What is going on in there?" Kiba wondered out loud, "It sounds like a hippo giving birth!"

"Lets see!" And Hinata stood up and pulled at the bushes.

Their eyes meet a gruesome sight. It was Gai-sensei and Rock Lee, in a full Monty, and worse yet, they hadn't noticed anything was wrong.

"Oh… Gai-sensei, how do you know the right places! Ummm, that's right!"

Both Hinata and Kiba were gagging before the two noticed that they had an audience.

Rock Lee jumped up and sprinted away, his shirt off and his pants around his ankles, and Gai-sensei ran the opposite direction, his leotard hanging off and torn in the back, passing a surprised Iruka on the way.

"Hey, where's the fire?" Iruka called after the half-naked man.

"In my pants!" Gai called back, and sprinted out of sight.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Hahahaha, I hope you enjoyed that ending! Tell me how much in a review!


	4. Chapter 4

I first need to apologize for my absence lately. I was grounded for a while, not to mention I had a bad writers block. However, now I am back, and I am determined not to keep all of you waiting for so long again! This is my most unique fanfiction ever, and I am determined to finish it! So, all of you make sure to tell me how much you loved this chapter! Oh, by the way, I put the names of the chapters at the top of the page because most of them are to long for me to put on regularly. In case that was bothering you.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Naruto, yeah, I know that makes you happy

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Chapter 4 

"Your smile is sweeter than chocolate fondue"

Ten-Ten was singing softly to herself, sitting alone in a beautiful field of wild flowers. She was weaving the buds into wreaths to wear around the buns in her hair. Suddenly Ten-Ten heard rough growling and squealing coming form a clump of bushed nearby. She stood up, and started pawing through them. She jumped back, startled by what she found.

It was Neiji. He was tucked in a small opening, his back toward Ten-Ten. And he was mumbling to himself. She leaned forward a little, and his words became clear.

"NO! Don't eat me!" Neiji was saying in a squeaky voice. Then in a deep rumbling tone he answered with, "Ha, ha, ha! You will never escape the wrath of almighty Neiji!" And with that he gobbled up the gummy bear he was holding.

Ten-Ten watched in silent astonishment as Neiji repeated this charade several more times until he had eaten all of his gummies. Then Ten-Ten spoke.

"Hi, Neiji"

The startled Ninja jumped up to face her, battle stance ready, but when he saw who it was he dropped his "tough" demeanor and became shy.

"Hi, Ten-Ten." He mumbled to his shoes, his ears turning red.

"I like gummies too, Neiji, though I must say I have never seen anyone eat them the way you have!" There was a smile in Ten-Ten's voice. Even so, Neiji plopped down on the ground and began to cry.

"Oh, Neiji, why are you crying?" Ten-Ten knelt beside him.

"Because," He sniffed, "You're making fun of me!"

"Oh, Neiji, no I'm not!" Ten-Ten assured him, "I would never!"

Neiji looked up, his eyes wide, "Promise?"

Ten-Ten crossed her hear, "Promise."

Suddenly, Neiji spun around and started to mumble to himself, although Ten-Ten could clearly hear him.

"Should I tell her? Yes, NO! Look at her, she's so beautiful! And her eyes, oh, she would never fall for me!" Neiji sighed.

"Umm, Neiji?" Ten-Ten asked, tentively placing her hand on his shoulder, he jumped around, teeth bared.

"Oh, it's just you Ten-Ten." He blushed and fiddled with his hair.

"Um, yeah, I've been hear the whole time. What do you have to tell me Ne-Ne?"

At the sound of her special nickname for him his heart raced, and his face turned cherry-red.

"I-I'm afraid to tell you Ten-Ten. I-I don't think I could bare the rejection."

Ten-Ten took her hands and stroked Neiji's hair letting the ebony tendrils slide silkily through her delicate fingers.

"How could I reject you?" She whispered breathily.

"Oh, Ten-Ten, your beauty hypnotized me, I can't resist it. I'm in love with you Tennie." Neiji stroked her cheek.

Ten-Ten wrapped her arms around Neiji's neck.

"The feeling is mutual my dear Ne-Ne." She sighed as the sun set on her embrace.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

So, that chapter was a little fluffier than the other ones, but I figured the fanfiction called for it right about now. Maybe after I finished this I'll write a Neiji Ten-Ten story. But first things first, tell me what you think so far!


	5. Chapter 5

I want to say how much I appreciate those of you who sent me reviews telling me that this was the funniest fanfiction, and that you think I am amazing. You have no idea how that makes me feel! Thank you so much:-) And, as promised here is another chapter for all of you to enjoy!

Disclaimer: Yeah, you guy know the drill, do I really have to say it AGAIN?

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Chapter 5 

"No use crying over escaped zoo animals"

Sakura couldn't find that damn banana. She had put it right next to her when she bent down to tie her shoe, and when she looked back it was gone.

"On my hands and knees for 10 minutes looking for this stupid fruit." She kept on muttering to herself as she searched her house for it. "And it was my last one too!"

Finally she figured that she should just go _buy_ another one, but on her way out she noticed her front door was open, "Strange," she remarked, but closed it tightly behind her.

Sakura was almost to town, when from a small park on her right she heard hysterical crying and screaming. Sakura, being the brave Ninja she was, rushed to the rescue of…Garra?

_It can't possibly be Gaara! _She thought, but she came closer she knew there was no denying it, one of the toughest ninjas in training in The Hidden Sand Village was having a nightmare!

"NO, NO! IGUANAS, IGUANAS AND VARIOUS OTHER REPTILES!" Gaara was screaming and thrashing side to side.

_He's gonna bring everybody running if he doesn't shut up! I'll save him the embarrassment of having everybody see him cry." _Sakura scurried to his side.

"Gaara, Gaara wake up! You're making a terrible racket!" She shook him gently. The Ninja's eyes fluttered open, "Are the Iguanas gone Sakura?" He whispered hoarsely.

"There were none Gaara, you were dreaming." Sakura frowned down at him, "Didn't you once tell me you can't sleep?" She asked suspiciously.

"Well, I don't usually," He answered, sitting up, "But sometimes all this no sleep catches up with me, and I eventually drift off. But then I have nightmares about…" He shivered, "The Iguanas." He whispered.

"You're afraid of Iguanas?"

"Yes, and various other reptiles." Gaara stiffened, "Is there anything wrong with that Sakura?" He asked defensively.

"No," Sakura muffled a giggle, "Oh, have you seen my banana anywhere, it just disappeared on me this morning."

Gaara raised an eyebrow, "You're banana? OH!" His non-existent eyebrows went up and a smile appeared on his face. "You're _banana._" He said knowingly.

Before Sakura knew it Gaara had pushed her down, and was kissing her passionately running his hands through her silky smooth hair. Sakura was extremely confused about why Gaara had done this; in fact he never showed any interest in anything but killing people before. _Does he have feelings for me?_ She wondered briefly, but soon this feeling of unease evaporated as Gaara's taste filled her mouth.

It was a curious taste, sweet and salty, yet it had a slight bitter dry twinge to it. _Like sand…_ Sakura thought. Yet this didn't stop her from kissing him with renewed passion.

That is, until she realized what Gaara had meant by banana…

"EWWWW, GAARA!" She shot away from him like he had lice. "PUT THAT AWAY YOU CREEP!"

"Why? Don't you like it?" Gaara smiled.

"NO! In fact, I like science more than I like, that, that THING!"

"Science?" Gaara was puzzled, "What's that?"

"Oh, come on Gaara, you know science! Energy, inertia, rocks, that sort of thing?"

"What the hell is inertia?"

Sakura sprang to her feet, sending Gaara sprawling in the nearby bushes.

"WHY, INERTIA IS A PROPERTY OF MATTER!" She screamed.

Suddenly, a whole crowd of people burst out of the bushes, trees, even garbage cans, yelling, "BILL, BILL, BILL, BILL! BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY!"

And just as quickly as they were there, they were gone, their cries still echoing off the distant mountains.

Gaara was trembling on the ground, trying to recover from the shock of having people scream in his ear.

"What was that?" He asked, dusting himself off and climbing to his feet.

"What was what?" Sakura was looking under the bench, trying to see if her banana somehow made it under there.

"That, that display!" Gaara was nervously looking around, making sure that there were no weird people and/or iguanas around.

Sakura gave him a confused look, "Umm, I'm not sure what you're talking about Gaara, but I must be going, I need to eat and find my original banana, or a new one."

And with that Sakura scampered off, leaving a very confused and somewhat terrified Gaara in her wake.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Thanks for reading everybody! Leave me reviews!


	6. Chapter 6

This chapter took a long time I know, I'm really sorry. So many things have kept me really busy, but I am determined to finish this fanfiction, unlike some of the other ones I have started to write. Many thanks to my one fan of this story,

Sesshoumaru's Sweetheart, she has reviewed me twice. Thank you very much! Your reviews are very sweet, and it's people like you who keep me writing! Okay, everybody, enjoy!

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Chapter 6 

"That's no _Janitor_ in the bathroom!"

Naruto was still lying in bed when his phone rang; he bolted out of the warm comfy-ness, and answered it on the third ring.

"Hello?" He croaked into the phone, his voice hoarse from sleep, "Who is this?"

"Naruto? It's Iruka."

"Ahh, Iruka-sensei, how are you?"

"I'm fine, wow Naruto, I almost didn't recognize that it was you, your voice sounds so low and sexy, it's getting me aroused…"

"What?" Naruto looked at the phone, confused, his mind was playing tricks on him.

"Oh, never mind, never mind," Iruka-sensei said hurriedly, "I was wondering if you'd join me for ramen for lunch in about a half-hour?"

"Sure Iruka-sensei, I'll meet you there. Bye." Naruto quickly hung up the phone, just a little creeped out. _Well, I bet my mind has just been playing tricks on me, after all, why would Iruka-sensei talk like that to me, his favorite student?_

Iruka hung up with Naruto, and turned to the mirror, putting his hair up in a ponytail as usual, and thinking of Naurto, also as usual. The blond was so cute and innocent, just what Iruka liked. He stared at the bulge starting to grow in his nether regions, _It's okay to think of Naruto like this, _Iruka tried to convince himself, _After all, he IS my favorite student._

Iruka-sensei was already there when Naruto climbed up on a stool at the Ichiraku. "Hi Naruto," The teacher said, smiling at the blond. It gave Naruto a quick lurch near his stomach, "Hi Iruka-sensei." He said, while thinking if it would be rude to go running out of the bar at this very moment screaming his lungs out. _Stop that, _he told himself_, Iruka-sensei's your friend and mentor, he cares for you very much. _Naruto looked up at Iruka_, and just because he is looking at you like he wants to get in your pants does not necessarily mean he wants to get in your pants. _

His ramen was already waiting for him at the bar, "Wow, looks good." Naruto said cheerfully, as he dug in.

Naruto thought he heard Iruka say very softly, "But not as good as you look."

"What?" Naruto turned to glance at his former teacher, "Did you say something Iruka-sensei?"

"Hmm? Oh, no Naruto, just keep on eating, I'm enjoying it."

"What?"

"Nothing"

Naruto started to get a funny feeling about the whole Iruka-sensei situation; he sure was acting strangely, for him at least. _I wonder if there's something bothering him. _Naruto wondered, glancing at the older Ninja, who had suddenly started to squirm.

"What's wrong Iruka-sensei? Do you have an itch?" Naruto inquired innocently.

Iruka shook his head, "No, dear sweet Naruto, my bra is just falling down. I'm trying to fix it." And with that Iruka reached his hand down his shirt and felt around.

"WHAT?" Naruto shot out of his chair and stood, terrified, staring at the teacher, "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"Naruto, darling, lets have none of this now. Come back to bed, err, I mean, come back to your food."

That last statement from Naruto's "trusted mentor" was enough, the young blond was going, going, gone.

A couple of blocks away, Shikamaru was laying in the park, enjoying the puffy white clouds, and thinking of his love, the beautiful Temari. He had recently thought of nothing else, not even his Ninja studies, which had slowly begun to slip. Shikamaru was so in love with Temari it made his heart hurt with every pulse, it made his head hurt if he was not always thinking of her lightened smile and luscious lips. And her silky blond hair, the very thought of it made his pants poke up a little, and he had to close his eyes to remind himself that he was in a public place.

Shikamaru started to drift into sleep, the sun warming his face and…other areas, he started to drift into a dream….

Shikarmaru's Dream 

Shikamaru was a brilliant young knight, and the Prince's of the land's good friend. Young maidens from all over the Kingdom tried and tried to win Shiakmaru's love, but he cared for one, and one only, the lovely noblewomen, Lady Temari. He beauty compared to not any other girl, and when she wore her pink dress with the lace up bodice, well, Sir Shikamaru had to practically keep from drooling as she strode past him. One day, Temari was kidnapped by an evil dragon, Shikamaru fought day and night with the dreaded beast, until at last it fell over, dead. Lady Temari was so relived to be rescued, and now so in love with Sir Shikamaru that she ran into his arms unlacing her top on the way over. Slowly, they lowered to the ground, and she placed her lips close to his ear, saying…

"EWWWWW!!!!"

With such a sound close to his ear, Shikamaru bolted out of the grass, and turned to be face-to face with Sakura.

"Sakura! What the hell? You woke me up from such a wonderful dream!" _How will I know what Temari was about to say to me now? _

"Must have been some dream!" Sakura said, giggling. "Was it _steamy_ pehapes?"

_How did she know? _"Of course not!"

Giggling even more into her hand, she pointed he finger at his pants front.

"Huh?" Shikamaru looked down, and then looked back up, horrified, he put his hands in front of his pant fly.

"So, tell me Shikamaru, who was this, apparently, _fun _dream about? I wont tell, promise!" Sakura leaned toward him, a smile on her face.

"NO! Sakura, get away from me, now!" And with that Shikamaru ran away, looking for a bathroom that he could calm down in, leaving a hysterically laughing Sakura in his wake.

Shikamaru banged into the bathroom, muttering quite loudly and distractedly to himself.

"What the hell! Damn Sakura, just likes to make me mad! How would SHE like it if I-oh wait, she's not a guy so that wouldn't work. Oh well, she's a whore anyway."

He heard a terrified squeak coming form the direction of the urinals. Looking up, he noticed Ino standing there, with a trapped look on her face.

"Oh, I'm sorry Ino, I'm just really mad at Sakura right now, I didn't mean to scare you."

Ino glanced around nervously, "About what?"

"Oh, well…" And Shikamaru went off in detail about the whole ordeal, Ino even stopped looking nervous and listened to him.

"So now I had to run into here, the BATHROOM to recover from the whole thing. It's so stupid, I mean…"

Shikamaru suddenly realized what he had just said, "I'm in the BATHROOM," he repeted and "This is the BOY'S bathroom, see there are the urinals." He turned to gaze at Ino, who had begun to look terrified again, "Ino, WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING IN THE BOY'S BATHROOM PEEING IN THE URINALS??!!!"

Ino started to stutter, "Well, I, I mean, see, it's like this…" Her eyes darted around, landing on the window, and said, "I'm _outta_ here!" And she took a running leap out of the bathroom, tumbled down two stories, and sprinted away. While a confused and a little bit disturbed Shikamaru watched her.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

So, funny, stupid, weird, let me know! I appreciate all reviews!


End file.
